Journal #1:
One of my questions would be why relate only lobsters and morality? Many animals go through similar unnecessary deaths because humans kill many different animals. In different cultures they kill and eat all types of animals from dogs and cats to alligators and sharks. Some of these animals are becoming extinct and it will mess up the environment. Another question would be does he want changes to happen? He had amazing points about if animals could feel pain like humans and if they have pain tolerance or not. It made me think about things I wouldn’t have noticed before like how humans react to pain with screaming, the lobsters react by trying to grab the side of the pot. Does he want less people making and eating lobster? Does he not want them to host the MLF anymore because it cruel to watch the lobsters die right in front of everyone? Does he think the MLF kills too many of the lobsters?
I might anticipate my audience’s question by writing in the pros and cons or good and bad like David Foster Wallace did. One limit to a written discussion is that the writer has to make sure they explain their points and express why they are writing the paper. A larger issue would be more animals going extinct because they are getting killed for humans to eat and use their skin for money. Many people catching up the lobsters and other sea animals might disturb the food chain and cause sea animals to move somewhere else. This is a big problem in many places and it is messing up environments and ecosystems. Another limit for a written discussion is that it can’t go off topic too much and it has to appeal to the audience the writer wrote it for. Before writing a written discussion, the writer has to know what audience he or she is writing for because writing to middle schoolers is different from writing to college students.
Journal #2:
My experience from drafting projects wasn’t always the best way. I would sometimes do the work a day or two before the due date but it honestly worked for me. I did revise most of my writings whether it was rushed or not. I got pretty good greats in most projects and essays whether I rushed them or took my time. But if it was a project I was interested in and was important, I took my time getting information and working on it. It also helped if the teacher gave me a good amount of time to do the work and had check-ins. I felt like peer revision wasn’t helpful at all because how does the person know better than me what the teacher wanted. If the teacher revised my paper, then I took the constructive criticism and tried to fix it if it needed fixing. I did not like doing peer revisions either because I felt like I was going to mess up their work and I never knew what to tell them. I feel like the teacher should help with the revisions. It is hard not knowing if what you wrote is good enough for the teacher or if it is what the teacher wanted from the students.
My revisions didn’t look that great because it didn’t ever come easy to me. It was hard to revise my things because it wasn’t something that could be taught. I had to learn how to do it myself and my high school didn’t always push revising on the students so I stopped revising my projects. I feel like revising didn’t help me at all and it wasted my time. It made me feel more pressure on my work and got me nervous. When I revised I just reread my work and see if I wanted to take things out because they were just space fillers.
Journal #3:
I found it very interesting when the author was talking about an effective argument. The author was talking about how quoting is one way to make an argument effective because it makes it look like you have a great amount of credibility. I think it also helps people understand what you are trying to argue and it shows that you did some type of research. I agree with the author when it talks about having credibility because the quote shows how much time you put into learning and researching the argument. It also talks about how quotes help ensure that it is fair and accurate. I agree with that statement because my english teachers told me it helps make a statement stronger. I personally respect an argument with a credible quote more because if the quote is explained then it makes the argument look good and important.
One thing the author talked about was failure to quote enough, over quoting, and not understanding what they quoted. I agree with them because when I first learned how to quote, I just put quotes down wherever it looked good and I sometimes did not know what or why I quoted it. The author related quotes to orphans because you are taking someone’s words and you understand why you put it there but the reader does not. Some people do not have enough quotes to support their claim and it does not look correct but if they looked in the wrong places for quotes then they would not have enough. They also talked about over quoting which I think many people do because they do not know how to explain some of their quotes so they put more in to make it look like all the quotes are important and relevant. From reading this book I think finding relevant quotes is one of the important things to do while writing an essay.
Journal #4:
One passage that I found interesting was the first one we read in class. I liked it a lot because it was interesting and made me think about if food really is a burden. I come from a family that eats Caribbean food so coming to University of New England is hard because they do not serve any of the food that I ate. So from my experience and point of view Soylent would not be too bad for me. I do not really eat what they serve most of the time over here. But recently I have been eating the dinner but I get the same thing and that is not healthy. But only eating dinner most of the time is not good for your body either because I sometimes won’t have time to make myself breakfast or lunch or it is taking up time which I could be doing homework so Soylent would sound like a good idea if anyone had these problems.
Another passage that I liked was when they were relating the movies to Soylent and how it always went wrong like in Charlie and the Chocolate factory how Willy Wonka make the three-course-meal gum but it did not go as planned and it turned the little girl into a blueberry. It brought up the opposing person’s ideas and thoughts so they could talk about their ideas and show why they brought up the points that they did. One fact they brought up was that livestock almost causes 15% of all greenhouse-gas emissions and other facts about pollution. They also talk about how Soylent taste, what is in it and where the ingredients come from. One example is when they are talking about the formula and where the major food groups are coming from and also relating it to water.
Journal #5:
In the book, “They say, I say” by Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein, one thing that caught my eye was when it was talking about sophisticated writers know the basic moves. But unsophisticated writers do not know the basic moves and you could tell if they do. I feel like people learn the moves from other people who are better writers. One thing i thought that helped in the book was the templates to summarize because it is hard to summarize points and ideas without repeating. The book talks about it is important to express your ideas and also express it as a response and that helped me because they used a picture example and explained as if you just say your idea people will ask why are you telling this. But if you say your idea as a response it helps explain why you expressed it in the first place.
It talked about the structure of effective academic writing was stating your own ideas and listening closely to others around them and I agreed with that statement because if your not listening to someone else’s opinion and you do not listen then you are not going to bring good ideas and responses because you did not listen so you do not know what they said. Another thing I agreed with was when they talked about summarizing what others say and use it to set up your main points and ideas. It should be used as a segway into your ideas because it explains why are you saying it and why you were writing about this idea. Another good idea is to ask yourself questions while you are writing because it might help structure the writing and give you ideas.
Journal #7:
The best comments I found helpful from my peers was to explain more. I always have to remember that I know what I am talking about but does the reader and in order for the reader to understand I need to explain as much as I can. Another comment was helping me with reword certain sentences because it sounded less informal. These were good comments because they helped me make the reader understand more. Some good comments I gave my peers were explaining more or give more details and correcting some sentences because they did not make sense. But I also gave them good comments because they had good paragraphs and attention grabbers. These were good comments because I was not telling them if it was good or bad I gave them suggestions. I would start my comment with “You could…” so it does not look like I am demanding them to do this.
The important feedback that were not on the page was why I needed to explain more. I talked about ham in a cup and one of my peers asked if it was spam and I had to tell her that it was literally deli ham from the dining hall put into a cup. From that conversation I realized I had to explain more and give more details because then my readers would not get the right idea I was trying to give and it would get confusing. This peer review was better than the ones in high school because I did not do a lot of them and it was useless because people did not care about peer reading. People thought it was not going to help and we would never use it in college. We also never got graded on it and we would just put like good job and other easy comments like that.
Journal #8:
In the book They Say, I Say it talks about important writing skills that many people do not have or forget. One thing it talks about is that if you are writing, you need to have a point. It talks about how the writer needs to be clear about the thesis and the point of the paper. It is good to talk about what others say about the topic and what you think about the topic. But when you introduce your own ideas, make it into a response to the other opinions because you are responding to them. I found it interesting that the book says to summarize the ideas you are responding first and then respond. I agree with them that the point is to give your readers a quick preview of what is motivating you to talk about the topic because then you are just writing to write and there is no point to even talk about it.
I found it helpful when they put the templates for introducing what “they say” and the “standard views”. The reason why is because it is hard for most people it is hard to summarize the ideas your responding. The reason it is hard is because you are trying to respond to them and you do not agree with them so why state their point anyways? It is because you want to state your point and explain how and why you feel the way you feel about the topic.
Journal #9: In class
Journal #10:
In the article “Memories of Past Meals”, the stories were very interesting. I liked how it felt like the writer was talking to me and I felt like I understood the whole time about how they felt about the food. I loved the name of the second story because it was smart and funny to me. I found it interesting when they told their stories about their favorite meal because it felt like I was right there with them. My essay on my favorite meal essay and when they wrote about it is very different from each other because mine is longer and I talk more about my culture. When they are talking about their favorite meal it is short and straight to the point. I loved talking about my favorite meal it was so amazing. It was very different from how I did my favorite meal essay. It felt like we were friends and I was just sitting down talking to the about their favorite meal.
Journal #11:
In the article, Out of the Kitchen, Onto the Couch by Micheal Pollan, I found many interesting things. On page 4 in paragraph one and two it talks about women cooking and the past of people cooking. I agree and disagree with some ideas in paragraphs like when it was talking about the decline of home cooking. I agree that fast food has risen especially in North America because it is the one of the most obese countries in the world. But It talks about how women working outside of the home is one of the reasons home cooking declined and I do not agree. I believe that women can have a job because they do not have to be the one in the house that cooks all the time. Men can cook too or they could switch off on who cooks in the house because it is 2019 and anyone can learn how to cook.
On page 6 in paragraph two, it talks about the different views of cooking. I agree with the view that talks about how if feels to cook. “…and a woman can find special satisfaction in a successful cake or a flaky pastry…”, I agree with the quote because when I bake or cook something and I do it correctly it makes me so happy and accomplished. Usually when I cook or bake I give to my family to taste and when they tell me it taste good, it is such a good feeling. But I agree and disagree with the other view that talks about how cooking brings fulfillment in life. “…cooking approached in the proper spirit offered a kind of fulfillment and deserved an intelligent woman’s attention.” For some people it might bring fulfillment in their life but it does not bring fulfillment in my life because I feel like it takes too long, it does not always come out the way you want it to, and I feel like it takes multiple tries just to get it the way you want it to taste.
On page 9 in paragraph one, two and three it talks about how cooking shows now are different from cooking shows in the past. I agree because cooking shows today are just about how quick people can cook and who can cook the best. The cooking shows in the past are about teaching people new meals for the family. It helped people out and made home cooking fun in my opinion. The skills they learn in the food shows now do not help anyone out who is watching it and the shows are there for people’s entertainment. I feel like they should do some shows about cooking and other shows about fast cooking and competition.
Journal #12:
In “They Say, I Say” by Gerald Graff it talks about how to make a good essay and argument. In the book it talks about when teachers asked students what the authors argument is and they seemed forced and it was hard. I agree because when I was in high school they made us sit in circles and they asked us questions like that and I was always confused. I did not talk a lot because I did not understand the argument sometimes but then after we would have to write about whether we agreed or disagreed with the argument and use examples from the author. It was difficult because the teacher did not help us so it was harder not getting help from someone who knew what they were doing. The book said that there was a better result when the teachers asked the students questions like what is motivating the author’s argument because it had good results and it was easier for them.
In the chapter it talks about alternative ways of seeing the argument or topic at hand. They want people to think about the writer sitting with other people trying to make the other people see their point of view or persuade them to understand their point when you are reading someone’s essay or something. But they do not want you to imagine the writer just sitting in a coffee shop or something by themselves because it will make it boring and it is not helpful. I do agree with that statement and I think that would help me understand the writer more. The book says that this strategy helps view what the author is responding to and what the author’s own argument is. One part of the hardest parts of they say, I say is figuring out which is which and they used a good example with David Zinczenko, “Don’t Blame the Eater” .
Journal #13:
One significant move I made while I was revising was working two quotes together. I had some difficulty understanding what to write about. I had trouble picking two quotes and connecting them. So I stated that both Pollan one of the three people’s essays I picked had the same idea then, I picked a quote from Pollan article and explained it. After, I picked a quote from one of people’s essays and explained it, finally I compared the quotes and related each reading to each other and also I stated my opinion in it because I did not agree with what one of them said. In my first body paragraph I have to go back and fix it because I do not like how I constructed it compared to my second body paragraph. I also have to strengthen my thesis statement but i do not know how to do that until I finish my body paragraphs.
Another significant move I made while I revised was adding some analysis because I did not explain that much in the beginning when I first started writing this essay. I need to add more details and analysis to my body paragraphs because I started by just restating the quotes and i need to talk about how they compare and why I even picked them. I also need to rewrite a little of my introduction paragraph because I just wrote some stuff down so it might be all over the place.
Journal #15:
In the beginning of the writing process for the second project, I had a lot of trouble because I did not completely understand the prompt or what we were really supposed to do. First, I started on the introduction and the first body paragraph but since I still did not know what to do so I just wrote. I met with my writing lab teacher and he helped me understand what to write about. So I finished writing my other body paragraphs and then I had to go back to rewrite my first body paragraph. After getting the peer reviews on my introduction and first body paragraph, I fixed up my paragraphs and then I finally started on my conclusion. I had trouble with my conclusion because I did not want to do restate too much and basically make it into a summary of my essay like how they taught me in high school. But then I went to my writing lab teacher and we talked about it so I could understand how to start it. I finally typed my conclusion and did my citations.
I think this essay was easy but hard at the same time only because I had so much trouble starting it. We had all the evidence we just needed to tie everything together. I think I put a lot of work into this essay, I stayed up until two in the morning working on this essay. It was a little stressful at one point but it got easier when I sat down and just started typing. I revised it with my writing lab teacher and he said I did a good job following Barclay’s formula for connecting two quotes together.
Journal #16:
In the article “What the Crow Knows” by Ross Andersen, he talks about consciousness in animals and what is the meaning of it. Before reading this article, I did not think about consciousness a lot especially in animals but I did feel like animals had consciousness. I knew that crows were very intelligent and other animals like dogs have emotions. Some things that interest me was Jainism. I did not know there was a religion that forbids violence in humans and animals. I also did not know about the subcontient’s first animal-welfare laws. I like how they were influenced by Gandhi’s radical ideas about nonviolence. Certain little things that people do not think about cause harm to living organisms and the state of Gujarat tries to change those things by not doing them at all. One example is that monks do not eat root vegetables because the removal from the Earth disturb deliciate subterranean ecosystems. Another example was walking barefoot in the mornings to avoid car travel because it is an activity they regard as irredeemably violent, given the damage it inflicts on living organisms, from insects to larger animals.
In the article it says “…they believe animals are conscious beings that experience, in varying degrees, emotions analogous to human desire, fear, pain, sorrow, and joy.”, which I completely agree with. I have had many animals while I was growing up and I treated them like humans most of the time because I felt like they understood and had emotions just like humans. This is how I realized I wanted to be a veterinarian because I love animals a lot and I love helping out as much as I can. I was curious about what would happen if someone in their community broke their law?
Journal #17:
Herzog’s argument is that our relationships with animals are complicated and they way we think about them defies logic. In passage one, it talks about a girl named Judith Black who turned vegetarian when she decided killing animals is wrong. But she did not believe fish were animals so she continued eating it. The complication in this story was whether she considered fish as animals. But what does or does not make fish animals is the real question.
In passage two in the first and second paragraphs, it talks about Jim Thompson who working in a poultry research lab but then he started advocating for animal rights and never ate meat again. But he let one of his pet cockatiel go into the wild knowing it would not survive because he believed keeping animals as pets was wrong. But he said he did it for himself more than for the cockatiel. But when do humans stop doing things for themselves and start doing things for the right reasons.
In passage two in paragraphs three to seven, it talks about a woman named Carolyn and her relationship with a manatee. She spent everyday with the manatee named Snooty and food was a major part of their relationship. She eventually put Snooty over her relationship with her husband because she did not go on vacations anymore. She was so emotionally connected to Snooty she would do anything for him.
Journal #18:
In my first journal I talked about how we should think about more animals getting killed like lobsters. When I first read Considering the Lobsters by David Wallace, I realized that lobsters give signals of pain by rattling the boiling pot or grabbing onto the sides of the pot. But I did not think about consciousness in animals. After reading all the articles about animals, I believe they relate to David Wallace because they talk about if animals feel pain and basically if they are conscious. Another topic the articles talked about was thinking about the complicated things. After rereading Considering the Lobster, I still believe everything I said before but now I’m thinking about if animals are conscious or not? Or if we have our human consciousness and animals have their animal consciousness? It made me think about how I treat animals. I have always treated animals like humans.
The way I look at pets are like their little humans in my house. I like when my dogs and cats sleep next to me in bed or on my couch. I go outside with my dog and chill outside with him because I feel like he will get lonely and it makes him understand that I care about him. I tell my dogs where I am going sometimes and that I will come back for them to understand that I care and will be back. At first I did not know why but after thinking about it and reading these articles I think I did it because I believed animals are conscious. I love animals so much that since I was seven years old I knew I wanted to be a veterinarian. I want to be one of the best veterinarians that I can be.
Journal #19:
In the book, “They Say/ I Say”, this chapter talks about planting a naysayer in your text. When I talked to my writing lab teacher about it for the last essay, he said it is good to do that so your writing becomes more realistic. In the book it talks about how most ideas can be criticised but people can use it to their advantages. By telling the reader’s criticism about our idea makes you more credible. It helps engage readers to debate and honestly is one of the best ways to bring up controversial topics. It is always hard to bring up the naysayers point in your writing. I sometimes have trouble doing it so I leave it to the last body paragraph. I liked the templates for entertaining objections and I will use them. I like them because it looks like it is a great segway into talking about it.
I think it is a good idea to label the naysayers. But I do like the templates for introducing objections informally. I do not label the naysayers most the time because I do not know if it is too much or how to do it the right way. I like that the book has examples from other readings so I can see it directly. One example I liked was when they were talking about letting the naysayers speak directly. The book talks about giving the naysayers idea a good size in the essay. Like it should be a paragraph or several sentences.
Journal #22:
This paper was harder for me to do. I did not know where to start and it wasn hard for me to understand what exactly to write about. When I started to type my introduction, I was just typing anything and everything that came to my mind. Then I met with my writing lab teacher and he helped me out. After that, I thought I knew what I was doing so I started typing again and I had a good flow going but then I realized I did not know what I wanted to say next and I did not know what I was doing. So I just started typing whatever came to mind again to see if any of it would be useful and most of it was. I met with my writing lab teacher for the second time and we talked about how I felt when I was peer editing other people’s paper and how I felt like my paper was not on the right track. He looked at it and told me I was but I need to just start adding more things and explanation into my paper. We went over what I needed to add and i put comments all over my paper so I could remember what we said.
I went to class and we shared our peer reviews and my person helped me a little bit more. The two people who read my paper added a little more comments to my paper. I needed to add more evidence and my point of view. But I also needed to differentiate was sentences and paragraphs were important and helped me get my point across and which did not because i only have 1500 words to get my point across in and i do not want to waste it with useless things.
